Seriously. I don’t care. There seems to be a plethora (told you I like that word) of people running around tossing their opinions out as if I give a rats ass. I don’t give a dead fucking bird what you think of me if you don’t know me. Unless you’re contributing to my financial status or putting food on my plate. Fuck your opinion. I don’t understand why complete strangers seem to think that they matter. You’re about as irrelevant as Beyonce’s latest single. Yea I said it.
So just in case someone out there was wondering, or if you need a few reasons to give the next person that gives you their unsolicited opinion..here are 10 reasons why I don’t give a fuck and neither should you.
1. I don’t know you.
Like really. Who are you? You don’t know me or my life so your opinion about me is null and void. Nothing you say will affect my life.
2. I’m not on your payroll.
I care about what my boss thinks of me. Why? Because I don’t want people in my office to have a bad perception of me. People don’t like working with someone they don’t think highly of. My office is pretty tight-knit so I care about what my co-workers may think of me. I see them every damn day and have worked with them for the past three years so they know me and shit. If they thought less of me I’d be eating lunch alone in the smelly cubicle up front and that’s not the one you want. Also, If my boss thought I was a shitbag or something it would be hard to get away with the shit I do or don’t do here. I mean..where do you think I am now typing this? Yea.
3. You didn’t give birth to me.
Pretty self-explanatory. I care about my mothers opinion. Even then to a certain extent. I just want her to know that she didn’t raise a degenerate. As long as she doesn’t think she’s failed at raising me I’m cool. Her opinion on other matters like how fast I drive, how much I curse or why I still don’t eat my vegetables are null and void.
4. You look like this:
5. You aren’t my significant other.
I care about his opinion maybe more than anyone else. So much so that I usually ask for it when I need insight on something. Which brings me to the next one..
6. I didn’t ask you for it.
If I didn’t come to you seeking your opinion then that means I don’t want it. Nothing worse than unsolicited opinions. I know it’s hard to refrain from giving it sometimes. Especially if you’re the type of person who thinks they’re always right about everything and everything they do and say is the only way to do and say it. I mean, I’m sure I’ve given an unsolicited opinion here and there. I’m an asshole though so I don’t give a fuck if you tell me “fuck your opinion”. Touche’ n shit.
7. You’re not him:
Amen. Yes that’s Jesus. Yes he looks like Bob Vila. That’s my Jesus so don’t hate. Plus Bob Vila is Cuban so imagining Jesus as a Cuban Bob Vila makes me happy. I care about Jesus’s opinion of me. I know he loves me. Don’t know if he appreciates my humor but he gave it to me so he has to right? Don’t worry, it’s Easter so I’ll be in church on Sunday. *baptist finger*
8. You’re ugly.
Refer to #4. I know that seems harsh but I can’t take you serious with that face. I’m not even listening to what you’re saying. Your face is distracting me.
9. You sleep on a..
10. You have no money.
If you’re broke as shit keep your opinions to yourself. You need to be making money to have opinions or at least trying to make money.That shows me that you know how to sustain yourself. You can get by and shit. If you can’t do that then nothing you have to say matters. Nothing. Nada. At all. Fuck your opinion to hell. I have my own opinions for you but I’ll keep them to myself. Cuz fuck my opinion too.
So what’s your opinion on unwanted opinions? Whose opinion matters or doesn’t matter to you? Sound off and shit.