Ok, so the other day I wrote a post entitled “When the Grass looks Greener” about people in relationships who assume that there is always going to be someone better out there than who they have at home. I added in there that there are some situations where the grass may indeed be greener and I have an admitted fence hopper on today’s post who, after some prodding and persuading, agreed to give me her side.
Her story is a bit different in that she’s past the he-makes-me-happy-but-I-wonder-if-I’d-be-happier-with-someone-else case. In her situation, she’s officially unhappy and in a toxic relationship. The other side of the fence is anywhere he isn’t.
So, what happens when you go beyond that point? When you’re no longer happy and wondering if there’s something better out there and instead you’re discontent and you know that this can’t be life? Do you stick around and try to work shit out some more? Or do you grab your pole thingy I don’t know what the hell it’s called and I’m too lazy to Google it right now) and vault over the fence to greener pastures?
Well, I’ll let her tell it:
Hi, my name is Yaya and I’m a Fence Hopper (I swear that’s not a euphemism for whore). Allow me to elaborate nshit. I was in a relationship & the grass was Definitely greener on the other side. Did I meet a new person? NO. Did he cheat? Nope (not that I know of). When I looked on the other side of the fence I saw myself being so much more happier… Alone :-O. When I seen that I hauled ass to that fence & did a diving somersault to the other side. *sticks dismount*.In the past I could Only see myself marrying him. No one else mattered. He was my Everything. He was Always put 1st w/ No questions asked. I realized I slowly began to be put 2nd, then 3rd… Then 10th. So we talked about it & things got better & then they fell apart. So we talked about it & it got better & then it fell apart. Soooo we talked about it -_-. The monotonous cycle pushed me away & I didn’t look @ him the same. The grass on my side of the fence was dead & the other side looked so peaceful & serene.
I started to feel alone so why not be alone? Alone ≠ Lonely. Lonely is a state of Mind. There was no reason for me to keep putting my 100% into someone when they were giving me 25%.
It was time for “The Talk”. You know what I’m talking about. The “Its me, not you” talk. As far as I was concerned it wasn’t me, but I was willing to take all of the blame to end it. Of course he thought marriage and a ring would solve all of our issues *rolls eyes*. NO thank you. I wanted OUT & that’s exactly what happened. That fence didn’t stand a chance nshit.
What it all came down to was I was happier when he wasn’t around me. Everything I used to do for him Stopped. I stopped calling & texting. There was no cooking or sex. I didn’t care where he was, who he was with, or if he was even ok (fuckin terrible). If you were around me during this fence hopping (break-up) you would’ve thought I just got engaged. Words can’t explain how happy I am.
What I can’t understand though, is why he tried to do a 180° after it was over. He feels like he has something to prove to me nshit. Well my mind is made up & I’m loving this side of the fence. *sips thug cola through a crazy straw*