The Lottery Question

The only solid thing I had planned for today was to figure out what I’m cooking tonight and go buy some more lottery tickets. I’ve got my tickets still in limbo on dinner. I don’t buy lotto tickets all the time, actually, most times I do want to get them I almost always forget and the only times I buy are when the jackpots are ridiculously high. I assume this is when most other people buy too. The  Mega Millions Jackpot is up to $173 million!!!!  I got some of those last night but obviously I lost since I’m blogging and not doing the dougie in my yard.  So, as it normally happens whenever I do buy a lotto ticket, I have my ‘I  just won the lottery dream’ in where I’m zipping around in a Maserati GT, taking trips to the islands with my bf and coming home to our mini-mansion. Then I wake up and have to convince myself that no, I didn’t win shit and let me take my ass to work. I’m still holding out for the Powerball though. Stay tuned.

But what if I did? What if you did? I was thinking about it on my drive to work and came up with 12 things I’d use the money for if I won the lottery.

1. A new car

I just bought a new car about a month or so ago but I’d buy another new car. Shit maybe like two more cars. This is probably the one thing I would splurge on but only because I have an affinity for nice cars. I’m sure this is standard and on most people’s list of things to buy. Moving on.

2. A new house

I’d pay off my current house and rent it out and buy a newer, slightly larger house. With a wrap-around porch….and a circular driveway…..and a really big kitchen….and a game room..and..ok I’m done. Continue reading

Random Things I’ll Never Understand… or Want To

Good morning. Happy Monday, although I know that’s an oxymoron for some, it isn’t for me because I was 30 minutes late to work and still managed to be the first one here. As a matter of fact, I’m the only one here and I have no clue where my four coworkers are. Anyway, as I was driving in this morning I succumbed to my usual bouts of road rage when some asshole in a MPV turned into my lane going 30mph as I was going 60mph. Never mind that there was a completely empty lane to my right reserved for minivans, handicapped persons and whoever else chooses to drive the speed limit. This idiot decided to meander in front of me and almost purposefully, at least I think it was, drive 20 miles under the limit. Why people do this shit is beyond me and it got me to thinking about other things I just cant comprehend.

#2 – Crying when celebrities die.

I know I’m not alone here yet people have tried to make me feel like some sort of cold-hearted, soul-less bitch for not crying or giving more than half a shit when a celebrity passes away. I swear I got so much grief when Michael Jackson died because everyone around me was all, “OH MY GAWD!!!! NOOOOOOO NOT MJJJJJJJ!!! JESUS WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY BABY JESUS DID YOU TAKE THE KING OF POP?! TAKE ME INSTEAD!!!!”, and I was like “Damn, Michael Jackson died? That’s crazy.” Am I wrong? I just don’t see the purpose in crying over someone who doesn’t even know I exist or that would touch my son inappropriately if I let him spend the night at his ranch. I’m just saying. I don’t understand why people care.

#3 – Fascination with reality TV

I guess this tags along with the last one. As you can see I don’t really comprehend the fascination with celebrities or even worse, people who are famous for being famous, or famous for being with someone famous. Continue reading

The Idiot At My Job

Goodmorning. How was your Thanksgiving? Good? Great. Now that the formalities are out of the way let’s get to the subject at hand shall we?

If you’ve read previous posts on here you might have noticed that I’ve referenced a certain someone who works at my job that I cannot stand. I don’t deal with her often but I swear every interaction I have with her leaves me either perplexed, annoyed, or in laughter because she’s just that…well, idiotic. I know it’s not nice to call people idiots and everyone is prone to episodes of idiocy but I truly believe that she is an idiot. I  mean, there’s no other way to describe the shit she does. I’ll let you judge. Let me share with you some of the encounters I’ve had and you can tell me if I’m being to harsh or not ok? Great. 

Sign #1 

She talks to me while I’m using the bathroom. I don’t mean a quick hello while I’m washing my hands, no. I mean a full fledged conversation about the smell of the hand soap while I’m in MY stall trying to handle business. I say it’s my stall because there aren’t many women working in my building, I’ve been here for almost 5 years and I claimed it as mine. She comes in and yells “WHO’S IN MY STALL??!” I roll my eyes and say something to the effect of “I didn’t see your name on it.” Then she gets in the stall next to me instead of the further stall. Violation. 

Sign #2

She has no job title so she looks for random shit to do. Why she’s still employed here is an enigma to me. Recently she was put in charge of “Computer Maintenance”. What prey tell is computer maintenance? It’s making sure the computers are dusted and that they start when you boot them up. That’s pretty much it. Yesterday she broke one of the monitors. I could rest my case here but I have more. Continue reading