Ask A Guy #004: Getting Serious & Advice For A Jump-Off

Good Morning and Happy Friday!  I find myself chuckling sometimes when I get questions for A Black Guy to answer. I sit and think really? Did you just ask that? I mean I don’t judge nshit. Unless, you’ve asked some purely basic hoe ass shit and are looking for an answer to justify or explain your ratchetness.    I know that there are a lot of topics and issues that women and some men need an outside, honest opinion on and that is why I chose to start this little feature on my site. So, without further delay and judgement, here are the questions and uncensored answers for today. Oh and my little ole two cents is in red because well, I just couldn’t help myself today.

1. How do you know when a guy wants to get serious with you? Are there specific things I should be looking for? 

When he says he wants to get serious and puts forth a real effort towards building a relationship with you. If a guy never says he wants to take things to the next level then you shouldn’t assume that he wants to based on how much time he spends with you or nice things he does for you. With that said, just because a guy says he wants to get serious doesn’t mean anything if his actions say otherwise. A list of some things that shows he probably wants to get serious: Continue reading


Ask A Guy

So, I’m used to giving my opinion on things because well, this is my blog nshit but I thought it would be grand to offer a male’s perspective on things. Most females have questions that only a guy can answer so me, being the humanitarian that I am, have enlisted the help of…a black guy. Who better to answer all of your concerns and questions than a black guy? A black guy has offered to be candid and honest in his replies. You ask. He answered. If you have any questions for a black guy email me at and I’ll include it in future Ask A Guy Posts. You can ask whatever you want about whatever topic!

From the desk of a black guy:

1. “I wanna know what the male perspective is on marriage. I know so many dudes that are scared shitless…like being with a female for 12 plus years is cool but they don’t wanna get married. What’s keeping them from taking that step and are all men so hesitant?”

I think most men want to get married and it’s not a “all men are afraid of marriage” thing. If all men were afraid of marriage then these gay marriage laws probably wouldn’t even be issues. So do straight men think being married makes you less of a man? lol Seriously! No real man wants to go into a marriage thinking that down the line it’s not going to work out or sooner or later he’ll end up cheating, if that’s the case why get married in the first place.  As a guy I feel like I want to know as much about my girl, her personality and how she reacts in certain situation before I  give up getting random pussy forever dedicate the rest of my life to her. As  long as your together thats what counts in my book. I’d rather take a little extra time making sure that your with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with than rush in and regret it. The key words “the rest of your life”. Unless your pushing 60 and been with the guy for 30 years then Id say don’t focus so much on the act of getting marriage but more on if you could actually spend the rest of your life with that person. Anybody could go through with the ceremony but how many people can actually live up to the vows made.

2. What’s your advice for a female whose trying to better her mate but trying not to do it in a nagging way? Like, if he isn’t working…if i bring it up too much I’m nagging but I’m just trying to help him.”

 I wouldn’t do anything. And by don’t do anything I mean just that. I wouldnt nag, I wouldnt bring it up. I wouldn’t do anything or buy anything for that person. I’d be doing alot of shit by myself. I’d go out to eat with my friends as much as I could afford to and leave my partner home. I would buy the bare minimums for the house. I would spend any extra money I had on myself. If you don’t want to have shit for yourself, I don’t want to get in the way of that. At some point that person is going to either get the message or start nagging about money and why theirs nothing to eat or why you always go out to eat without them etc. The point you then make is they need to either do better or get use to not having shit.

3. “Some dudes will eat the box first date and all but if a chick tops a dude off on the first date she’s a hoe? Where’s the logic in that?

Some dudes, ahhem, most dudes will eat the box just to try and get laid. You see that. I just made the point with out even explaining why girls who give top off top are looked at as hoes. If a nigga is going to be happy if he just  gets laid, why are you giving him top? Your a hoe! You like sucking dick! You just met me and sucked my dick, you must suck every nigga dick you meet! – Shit guys think

4. “What does it do to a dude when a chick treats him like he’s the bitch? They fuck and she doesn’t call, text or anything. She just calls him when she’s bored and shit. What happens when he becomes the jumpoff?”

 Depends on the guy. If he likes the girl and he’s a weirdo he probably will turn in to a stalker and try and do extra shit to get the girl to spend more time with him. If he is normal and likes the girl he might cut her off just because he may begin to feel used and like a punk due to things always having to be on the females terms. If he doesnt really care he will only entertain her when she calls and he’s bored.

5. How do you feel about dating a woman with a kid? Or more than one?  

I wouldn’t date a woman with more then one kid by more then one father. Not that I wouldnt date her but I wouldnt be with her in a serious relationship. The less people interfering and bringing drama into your relationship the better. So I could deal with a female having multiple kids but multiple baby dads I cant. Although, the older I get things change because options are limited. I say that because I once said I wouldnt be in a relationship with a female with kid/s. But since being a father and dating or entertaining females with out children, they all seem to have issues with not being the number one person in their partners life. So now I feel like I need to be with someone that can relate to being a parent and I also can tell alot about a person by the relationship they have with their child.

6. If ur boy cheated on his girl and u were friends wit her too would u tell?

 No, I wouldnt tell her. If I felt like the females he cheated with weren’t worth losing his relationship then I would explain that to him. I wouldn’t tell my enemies girlfriend if he was cheating on her. Just not a stand up thing to do. Plus girlfriends know when they man is really out doing shit. Whats the point in me telling you something you already know and aint gone do shit about.  My friend would be mad at me and his girl would still be with him.

7. Why do men constantly seek attention from other ppl?

 I don’t know. I think thats some faggot shit. So if a man is constantly seeking attention from others he might be gay or very insecure. He could be bored. But probably gay! Unless other people means other females. Then he might be bored.

8. Why is cheating viewed as not a big deal?

Guys don’t think cheating is a big deal because 9 times out of 10 they could careless about the person that they cheat with. As a guy who has cheated this actually makes no sense when you think about it. Guys are willing to hurt some one they care about by being with some one they dont. Go figure.. But we try and justify it be insisting we could careless about that bitch lol. We really could care less which brings me back to why this shit makes no sense.