The Funniest Search Terms

Hello all. Top of the morning to you and all that good stuff. If you’ve happened upon this site through some random Googling then today’s post is for you. Have you ever wondered what other people search for on the internet? No? Well me neither. It wasn’t until I started this blog that I became privy to the search terms people use to find well, whatever it is they’re looking for when they type in “cheating with threesomes” or “when he kisses me with morning breath”. I get a good laugh out of a lot of them so I’ve decided to ues the power of the screen shot and show you the search terms that have led to my site in the past thirty days.

You have to click on the pictures to blow them up. Unless you have superhuman vision or something. Oh, and take notice what the number one search term is lol. Interesting.

Continue reading

Random Thoughts of a Saturday Morning Brain

I really can’t wait until the clocks go back tomorrow. Although I probably will just stay awake instead of going to sleep earlier which pretty much defeats the purpose I guess. 

I saw that video of the judge whooping his daughters ass when she was 16 and I just want to know why she was crying? He wasn’t even hitting her hard. I mean, my dad used to whoop ass. Serious. Ass. At 16 why are you even still getting whoopings? My mom wasn’t having that. She just said get out  my house and don’t come back. Problem solved. If I was her dad I would’ve whooped her at 23 for posting the video. If he gets jail time or anything for that then it’s complete bullshit in my opinion.

If you wake up on a Saturday morning and start Tweeting and Facebooking before you brush your teeth or take your morning shit then you need to re-evalutate your life. I’m at work. <—My excuse. What’s yours? Your life is not that exciting at 8 am on a Saturday morning.

You ever have a dream that felt so real you woke up and thought it was? Happened to me last night. Woke up mad as shit till I realized it didn’t really happen.

You haven’t felt struggle until you’ve taken a shower with no shower curtain or wiped your ass with a paper towel. *writes down as topic for Monday’s post* Continue reading

Open Letter

Dear Gas Station Attendant,

Maybe you don’t realize how bothersome your attempt at conversation is while I’m trying to get gas. Maybe you’re bored and need someone to talk to. I am not that person. The only exchange of words I’d like to have with you is “Fill it up regular, credit” and “Thank you.” That is the extent of my tolerance for gas station conversations. I don’t need you standing by my car watching the tank fill up and asking me “So, ma are you married?” Just pump the damn gas. *rolls window up*

Dear Little White Boy Next Door,

Stop knocking on my door asking me if you can come over and “play XBOX”. I’m an adult. I don’t play video games with 10 year old kids I’m not related to. Oh and no, you can’t borrow my XBOX because you’re on punishment and your dad said you can’t play yours. Please go take your Ritalin now.

Dear Facebook,

I really don’t need a side feed of what all my friends are doing or saying or posting or anything. Your constant changes are quite annoying. Also, the fact that you managed to convince countless idiots to post a status about paying for usage unless said  status is posted is quite mind boggling. I deleted about 6 people thanks to that.

Dear Co-worker, Continue reading

A Black Guy Rant

So who gets the china?

Ever heard of Julia and Hillary Goodridge? Maybe? Probably not, they’re just some irrelvant old white bitches from Boston who once who led the fight for same-sex marriage in Massachusetts but have since filed for divorce. This makes ab-so-loot-lee-no-cents what so ever. Massachusetts was the first state to legalize same-sex marriages in 2004 and by 2006 these bitches announced they are separating. This got me to thinking about all the other shit people bitch about and fight for but once things work out in their favor they turn around and do some shit that shows that what they were fighting for really wasn’t all that important to them. This post is a list of things I, I being the key word, feel a group of people fight for and then turn around and abandon or are no longer interested in.

(Things fought for in the civil rights movement are not included because the people that fought for them are not the ones who abandoned them. These new niggaz are not the same as the black people who fought for civil rights.)

Obviously, people who fight to legalize same-sex marriages and then ask to get divorced. Did you know that they have same-sex divorce lawyers? This is some complicated shit apparently. I want nothing to do with any of it. Julia and Hillary just proved right of an idea that many men have about getting married. If everything is going great in the relationship, whats the point in making a big deal over getting married? Men believe women change and become more controlling and overbearing once they get married and that’s probably true. I think I’ll ask Julia, or do I ask Hillary? Continue reading